My Bumble Experience

LOL.

Recently, I've broken down and joined Bumble. I know what you're thinking and I truly never considered myself to be someone to join an app like this, mostly because I was embarrassed or figured that I'd meet someone in person. (Can confirm this has not been the case whatsoever). The single life has become even more evident ever since I found myself watching Chopped everyday with a bowl of frozen corn heated up in my lap wearing my (favourite) shirt that has the word "Trainwreck" scrawled across it. 

You know when you're little playing with friends or barbies and it comes to the point in what you're playing that you need to choose how old you or your doll is in the game? You know when you choose anywhere between 16-20 thinking that your character has a partner or is married? Okay now think about how uncommon that is because I'm in my early twenties and I haven't found Malibu Ken anywhere (maybe he's on Bumble?).

Anyway, a few days ago I found myself searching for different dating apps while the unknown was calling my name. 

      I narrowed down my app decision on only one thing, the memes that Bumble posts on Instagram (give it a look, they get me every time). Once I downloaded, I picked pictures that didn't demonstrate all the silly things I do and the faces I pull, picked a (hopefully) clever bio and posted.  Within 5 minutes of swiping, I was hooked. 

Flipping back and forth between peoples' pictures is embarrassing, hilarious and also intriguing. There's nothing like avoiding those people you know through friends or family members and praying that they don't see your profile.

It is pretty amazing when you get the feeling of self-confidence after discovering you have matches or when people like the pictures of you literally on the ground after you ate it while snowshoeing that one time (are they laughing at me or with me? I'll take either. My life is in shambles anyway).            

Either way, I was shocked at how hooked I became and how much I kept checking for likes and matches only to realize that I need to match with myself.

       I need to feel good about myself and feel confident in who I am but I seem to only gain confidence from the people with four pictures and a bio that says something along the lines of "Love the outdoors, gym life, up for adventures, etc." 

       Why is it that Malibu Ken makes me feel good, but I can't create the same experience for myself?

Deep thoughts but equally important whether or not you have yourself a Ken.

Below are a few things I've experienced so far:

-if you match and say hi to your friends' brothers, they will dodge your message and you and your friend will laugh. Hard.

-you WILL run into people from high school. AVOID AVOID AVOID

-check your distance feature. Just do it. Please.

-look at all the pictures that people post, different angles could mean a change in swipe, believe me

-"actor"->bye

-"I'm in a band full time" ->bye

-"self employed"->bye

-shirtless picture with a kitten->bye

-fake tans are noticeable...not my thing but you do you

-lots of people say they're tall...their pictures say otherwise

-captions can be hilarious

-captions can also be disgusting

-awkward convos after matching are seemingly fun 

-so many unnecessary shirtless pictures

-posting one picture when it's a group picture clearly means you're hiding something. Do you hate avocados? Are you Waldo and you don't want to be found yet? Do you still watch Arthur (I do)? 

-if you're going to write in your bio "not my kid don't worry" WHY POST THOSE PICTURES?

-if you post pictures with other people that could be considered your significant others and write in the bio "just friends" WHY POST THOSE PICTURES?

I guess being on the app for only a few days has given me a few insights about my life. So thank you, Bumble, for helping me realize those things and thank you for the laughs. We're still friends for now but we could be parting soon, who knows. I'm just going to stick around and  try to figure out what that guy is hiding for a little while longer.

-E