North Bay: home of the Shad Fly.

Ever heard of a Shad Fly? Sometimes they're often referred to as Mayflies. No? Well, I'll just go ahead and tell you about them.

Shad flies are an aquatic insect normally and gather in swarms. They stick to literally everything and, in my research, serve zero purpose. While they stick to various walls, windows, traffic lights and whatever else you can think of and while you (and I) think they're pretty gross because of the amount of them swarming the streets and houses; they just stay there. They don't move as you swat at them, walk past them or get in close for a better look. North Bay has a Shad Fly season where they last for a few weeks at a time and don't disturb anyone. I know this because I saw them first hand during my quick little trip to North Bae.

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Why am I telling you this? Well despite Shad Flies being pretty gross [being that they're giant bugs that are literally EVERYWHERE] and the fact that I saw them during my stay, I also think that they're pretty neat. I guess I'm taking more of a deeper, more poetic but also sort of silly analysis of these bugs but enjoy the short read you have ahead of you.

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Shad Flies, as I said; don't do a whole lot. Unlike other flies or general insects, Shad Flies remain quiet, don't disturb anything and sort of wait out everything that their life entails. I've been thinking about a lot since I returned from North Bae and I think I can compare what I'm feeling to these weird little creatures. But first- a summary!

-I only ended up having just over 2 days with North Bae but honestly, the most amazing 2 days that I think I've ever shared with another human before. I got there late one night (saw a freaking deer walk around his street!) and I was shaking I was so excited to be in his arms again [keep in mind we've only technically seen each other once before this little trip- there's just something there]. The next day we took a trip to see the Big Nickel and spent the day walking around a mall, going for a coffee and essentially inhaling sushi (on my part at least). The next day we ran a few errands, packed a bit in case he had to go fight a fire later in the week like the freaking bad ass that he is, walked along the beach and went for a date night dinner. The day after that was a hardest because we don't actually know when we will see each other again but its also exciting because I know that whenever that is, it will be just as amazing as the times before. We didn't do too many adventurous things during my stay but we did spend time together and its the little things that meant the most to me. The smiles, glances, "good mornings", kisses here and there for no reason [jeez I am a romantic comedy]. The little things just do me in...and he knows it. Anyway, it wasn't making the decision to be risky and go there that was the hard part, the hard part was leaving someone that I care so much about.

He's probably reading this...so quick little shout out to North Bae! Please don't be worried or freaked out by my inability to blog or my ability to gush about you. You best be smiling at this post. Call me!

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Back to the Shad Flies!

Like I said, Shad Flies remain quiet, won't disturb anything and will wait things out. I am by no means quiet but I'm quiet in my thoughts and tend to bottle things up..let them stew until I overthink, panic and shut down. I got like this yesterday and occasionally feel an unnerving waver of doubt at times. I keep it to myself like the Shad Flies keep to themselves and just like them- this serves no purpose. I've experienced a few sob stories -like many of you have I'm sure- so I guess its only natural to be scared, especially when things are going so well. I don't want to rush North Bae into anything either but I know that despite the short amount of time we have spent together, the happier I become and connected I feel. I'm not going to take the Shad Fly approach here. I'm not going to sit and stew and do nothing with my moments of doubt or when I am scared because how can I have any doubt when I trust this person fully? I'll be working on that. Open dialogue he says. Well baby, its open. I will, however; take the Shad Fly approach when it comes to being patient and waiting things out. I will remain quiet and wait for us to have those important conversations and when they happen, they do- even if I can be extremely inpatient [insert laughing emoji here]. I don't want to disturb something so good so I guess I'll be a bit of a Shad Fly in this sense but existing and serving zero purpose in life- NOT what I will do.

I know it sound completely idiotic for one to compare their new relationship [?] to a bunch of bugs but honestly, the more I thought about them, the more I saw the beauty and similarity to them. For an ugly bug, they sorta hold an interesting meaning to me. Something that I'd never think would happen [lady bugs and moths will never do this for me...but that's a different story].

I guess what I am trying to say is..I'm nervous. I'm excited. And for the first time in a very long time, I feel more like me and I think this is the happiest that I've been in a long time.

Does anything hold a special meaning to you, readers?

-E